Friday was nuts.
Really just Friday morning. I have this car that I love and sometimes hate. I love it because it's always been reliable, has great character (besides just the dent in the front wheel well), and gets me great gas mileage (30-34 depending on the tank). I hate it because that first reason I gave is no longer true.
Before I left on my mission, my car had failed me once. For whatever reason, a screw on the distributor cap came loose, and I broke down 2 minutes from my house. My young men's leader came to rescue me and it all worked out. While I was gone, my little sister drove my car and it broke down for her several times. Now that I'm back, it has broken down twice. Then Friday happened and I have lost all confidence I once had in this car.
Just as background information, the problem is with the timing belt. It shakes the whole motor, which loosens the distributor cap screw and causes it to come loose every so often. I then take it to the mechanic, who fixes it for free, and I come off a little stressed and without a car for a day. The timing belt repair costs more than the car, so I have to live with it until it dies completely or I sell it. You might say I'm living the dream.
Anyway, Friday morning I'm coming from BYU going to work and, you guessed it, my car breaks down. Thankfully, it started up again and I headed on my merry way. Then it broke down again... and again... and again. Literally 6 times it stopped working and miraculously started up again. Oh and let's not forget that in the brief moments where it was working, the acceleration stopped working on 3 separate occasions. That doesn't bode well when you're driving on a 50 mph street.
It was only later that I realized that it was a learning experience for me. After the first time that it broke down, I prayed that I could just get to work safe and that my car would start again. It did, and I figured I'd be just fine. It kept breaking down the whole way, so I kept praying, and it kept starting up again. While I reflected on that, I learned several lessons, only one of which will receive focus here.
Why does God give us trials? Simply put: so we can learn and grow and ultimately become more like Him. In the midst of this trial of mine, I could think nothing but, "please, just work. Just let me make it where I need to go and I'll worry about the rest later". The car would subsequently break down. Much could be said here about the need for constancy in prayer and in recognizing God's hand in every part of our lives. Anyway, I came to understand later that God doesn't give us trials for nothing. If there is something to be learned, that's usually the way He goes about it: He lets us struggle and learn and overcome (usually with His help) until we're better off for having gone through that trial.
Let's consider some examples:
As a missionary, I had a strong desire to develop charity and love for others. I prayed so much and so hard that I could be charitable and loving. I was blessed with a trial of having very difficult companions that gave me the opportunity to develop charity. I didn't always take advantage of that, so the Lord gave me more opportunities in the form of more difficult companions until the very end of my mission (with a couple of exceptions along the way).
I've always wanted to be a very knowledgeable person. I sought out and was blessed with many opportunities to learn from some excellent teachers as well as to discover things for myself. I was blessed with a willing mind and given the opportunities to learn. It wasn't just given to me.
I struggled for a long time to have real faith. As I developed the desire to have real faith and prayed for it, I was placed in many situations that tested the little faith I had to its core. As I studied about faith and trusted enough to apply what I learned, I began to develop faith. It didn't come just with the asking, but the opportunities to develop it did.
I hope those examples conveyed what I'm trying to get across without making me seem like I'm better than I am. Those are still things that I work on every day, and I'm by no means a prime example of any of those qualities.
From my car troubles, I learned that the Lord answers prayers in His own way and in His own time, but always for our greatest benefit.
From the whole experience, I learned that we are never allowed to pass through anything that isn't necessary to mold us into the type of person that can qualify for exaltation.
This was succinctly summed up by a quote from Brigham Young that I heard in church on Sunday. I don't remember the exact quote, but this is what I got from it: Every trial we pass through is necessary for our salvation and exaltation. If we don't learn what we're supposed to from any trial and make the necessary and intended progress, we have suffered in vain.
I resolved to actively look for what God wants me to learn from my trials instead of just getting through them. I don't have them inconsequentially. I was meant to pass through those trials for a reason, so I figure I ought to know it and make the most of it.
I guess I can check that off the list of the many life lessons I'm supposed to learn. The real test, however, is the application.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
I'd assume that anyone who even knows this blog exists and knows me already knows that I'm engaged. I thought it'd be a good idea to just put the whole story on here so that when people ask, I can just refer them here (even though I know they'll still make me tell the story right then and there). Anyway, I also like telling stories... so I'll go ahead and tell this one.
It was a dark and stormy night...
Wait, wrong story.
I got an email on August 14 that the ring I had ordered for Lys had arrived. Naturally, I made some quick plans to propose ASAP. Serendipitously, I had already planned to take her to a play that's very special for us (Aida) the very next night. Sweet. I threw together a plan with my mom and older sister that morning after early work, and then went to other work. I also stopped by her house to tell her mom to have Lys dress in a specific dress to match what I was wearing so we'd get some good pictures. I called the jeweler and asked to have a nicer center stone put in than just a CZ. He told me it would be all ready by 5. My plan was to pick it up at 5:20 ish. Perfect. I have a normal day at work, get off early to pick up the ring, and get to the jeweler's around 5:25.
Upon arrival, I asked for John, with whom I had worked, to find that he was on the phone. They give me the ring, but can't find the wedding band. I'm sitting here waiting so impatiently, having told Lys that I'd pick her up at 6:30. Eventually, John comes out, we find the band, they explain a bunch of stuff to me, and I pay for the center stone. After running my card, they couldn't print the receipt, so they had to check a bunch of stuff and I got out of there at like 6:10... I'm stressin' a little by now.
I get home, get stuff ready, change, etc. As soon as I get home, my mom and sister leave to run an errand when they had said that they would go ahead of us to set everything up. I'm stressin' a little more now. Then my little sister texted my dad and said she wants to come, but she needs to get there from Provo. Now I'm stressin' a lot. I'm sitting here waiting to go, knowing that Lys is waiting for me and may begin to suspect something, but not being able to do anything.
Things worked out and we left.
I got to Lys's house around 6:45, we left around 6:55, and were off. She was wanting dinner, so I started driving to the temple where I had dinner waiting. I drove past Costa, where she had suggested we eat, so she was a little weirded out, but then thought maybe we were going to the Costa where Mariah works. I innocently drove past that one on the basis of "I don't know where it's at exactly..." Apparently she wasn't fooled, because that's when she started to suspect something was up. She was also hoping for a bathroom soon, and expected one upon arrival at Costa. Sorry, Lys, no such luck. Also, there's more to that than what I'm saying, but she might get upset if I share all of that. Ask her in person sometime.
We make it to the temple, find a bathroom in a nearby church building. As we pulled up, I got a text from my sister saying that I need to stall for 10 minutes (that turned into almost 20). Thankfully, bathroom breaks took longer than normal, and I stalled a little in the church parking lot, then outside deciding what we would need to bring in. Thankfully, the play happened to be right where I had planned to take her for dinner. Finally, I get the go ahead from the fam and we head to the designated place.
We start walking towards the venue and happen upon a blanket with Costa, water, and a borrowed guitar that's a lot nicer than mine. I had promised her earlier to show her a "new song" that I was working on sometime, so that seemed like the appropriate time to do it. I first played her a song that I had written for her before I left. You could say it was kind of nostalgic. Then I played her the new song (that I had actually finished writing that very day), and was meant as a proposal song. Basically, it's "I'll love you for forever. Will you love me for forever?" but with a little bit better lyrics (I'm really not much of a lyricist, though). By then, she was tearing up, so I reached in my bag and pulled out...
A note! That was a purposeful fake out because I knew she'd be expecting a ring at that point. While I was in Mexico, she gave me some thank you cards to give to people, so I saved on of them for her and wrote a note on it that was kind of the same message as the song with some promises added in. I made her read it out loud (she cried through most of it), and as she did, I slyly pulled out the ring from my bag. The note ended "There's just one condition..." and I whipped out that ring and asked her to marry me. She said yes. We hugged and stuff. Life was (and is) good. My family also jumped out of the bushes at that moment to get some pictures and haul our stuff away so we didn't have to worry about it.
Now we're engaged!
Here are pictures:
It was a dark and stormy night...
Wait, wrong story.
I got an email on August 14 that the ring I had ordered for Lys had arrived. Naturally, I made some quick plans to propose ASAP. Serendipitously, I had already planned to take her to a play that's very special for us (Aida) the very next night. Sweet. I threw together a plan with my mom and older sister that morning after early work, and then went to other work. I also stopped by her house to tell her mom to have Lys dress in a specific dress to match what I was wearing so we'd get some good pictures. I called the jeweler and asked to have a nicer center stone put in than just a CZ. He told me it would be all ready by 5. My plan was to pick it up at 5:20 ish. Perfect. I have a normal day at work, get off early to pick up the ring, and get to the jeweler's around 5:25.
Upon arrival, I asked for John, with whom I had worked, to find that he was on the phone. They give me the ring, but can't find the wedding band. I'm sitting here waiting so impatiently, having told Lys that I'd pick her up at 6:30. Eventually, John comes out, we find the band, they explain a bunch of stuff to me, and I pay for the center stone. After running my card, they couldn't print the receipt, so they had to check a bunch of stuff and I got out of there at like 6:10... I'm stressin' a little by now.
I get home, get stuff ready, change, etc. As soon as I get home, my mom and sister leave to run an errand when they had said that they would go ahead of us to set everything up. I'm stressin' a little more now. Then my little sister texted my dad and said she wants to come, but she needs to get there from Provo. Now I'm stressin' a lot. I'm sitting here waiting to go, knowing that Lys is waiting for me and may begin to suspect something, but not being able to do anything.
Things worked out and we left.
I got to Lys's house around 6:45, we left around 6:55, and were off. She was wanting dinner, so I started driving to the temple where I had dinner waiting. I drove past Costa, where she had suggested we eat, so she was a little weirded out, but then thought maybe we were going to the Costa where Mariah works. I innocently drove past that one on the basis of "I don't know where it's at exactly..." Apparently she wasn't fooled, because that's when she started to suspect something was up. She was also hoping for a bathroom soon, and expected one upon arrival at Costa. Sorry, Lys, no such luck. Also, there's more to that than what I'm saying, but she might get upset if I share all of that. Ask her in person sometime.
We make it to the temple, find a bathroom in a nearby church building. As we pulled up, I got a text from my sister saying that I need to stall for 10 minutes (that turned into almost 20). Thankfully, bathroom breaks took longer than normal, and I stalled a little in the church parking lot, then outside deciding what we would need to bring in. Thankfully, the play happened to be right where I had planned to take her for dinner. Finally, I get the go ahead from the fam and we head to the designated place.
We start walking towards the venue and happen upon a blanket with Costa, water, and a borrowed guitar that's a lot nicer than mine. I had promised her earlier to show her a "new song" that I was working on sometime, so that seemed like the appropriate time to do it. I first played her a song that I had written for her before I left. You could say it was kind of nostalgic. Then I played her the new song (that I had actually finished writing that very day), and was meant as a proposal song. Basically, it's "I'll love you for forever. Will you love me for forever?" but with a little bit better lyrics (I'm really not much of a lyricist, though). By then, she was tearing up, so I reached in my bag and pulled out...
A note! That was a purposeful fake out because I knew she'd be expecting a ring at that point. While I was in Mexico, she gave me some thank you cards to give to people, so I saved on of them for her and wrote a note on it that was kind of the same message as the song with some promises added in. I made her read it out loud (she cried through most of it), and as she did, I slyly pulled out the ring from my bag. The note ended "There's just one condition..." and I whipped out that ring and asked her to marry me. She said yes. We hugged and stuff. Life was (and is) good. My family also jumped out of the bushes at that moment to get some pictures and haul our stuff away so we didn't have to worry about it.
Now we're engaged!
Here are pictures:
So there's that ring I gave her
The two happiest people on earth
We've had plenty of ups and downs since then, but things are going well. I'm just happy with my life. There are plenty of difficulties, but I know deep down that things will work out. This has been my dream for the last 4 years, and now it's finally coming true.
Now I just have to get Lys to not stress about making plans and what not. She tends to do that. Like a lot.
I love you Lys. I'm sure excited to spend eternity with you!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Don't Wait: Do
This conversation went on in my head this morning
"Good things come to those who wait"
Really?
Well yeah, you decided to wait for Alyssa and be patient with her and now you're engaged!
Ok, but that was a lot more than just sitting and waiting.
Well you just kept doing all the same things except for pressuring her into a decision.
Exactly. I wasn't just waiting, I was doing all that I could to help her come to the decision herself, all the while reigning in my desire to move faster in favor of her needs and wants.
True... but you still just ended up waiting.
Not at all. This was a very active process that required enormous amounts of faith and patience on my part. I'm not sure I believe that quote to be true. Waiting doesn't really get us anywhere. Doing does. Believing does. Trusting does. Waiting is passive. The others are active. We aren't meant to be passive, to be acted upon, we are active beings who influence circumstance instead of being influenced by them.
Well that's true, I guess. Waiting is more just the passage of time than anything. [I enter an office with Isaiah 40:31 hung up on the wall].
See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. Waiting on the Lord isn't just letting time go by and then all of a sudden you renew your strength and mount up with wings as eagles. The waiting that it says here is more than just the passage of time. It is believing that God has a plan for each of us, trusting that whatever happens is a part of that plan, and doing all that we can to live in accordance with His will. That's the kind of "waiting" that will bring good things to people.
Ok, that makes more sense. So what about [names of two loved ones] who are struggling right now? What can you do?
I wish I knew. I want to help so badly, but my range of influence on either of them is pretty limited.
Well maybe you could apply this whole waiting lesson. Maybe there isn't much you can do, but you can always take care of yourself and love them both as much as possible. After that, you just believe that things will work out and trust in God's plan.
That's not a bad idea. It changed Alyssa's heart, maybe it'll change theirs.
There you go. You just make sure you're doing what you can for Alyssa and for them, and the Lord will do the rest. Remember that quote that Pres. Monson gave? "Do your duty, that is best, leave unto the Lord the rest."
Right. That's how I've gotten where I am now, and I can't say I'm disappointed with that. Perhaps a little more waiting will begin to have an effect. I'll trust in the Lord and His plan for them either way, though. If He wills it, they'll get better. If not, then there's something important to be learned from the experience.
That's the spirit! Now get back to work, you're already behind schedule. [end of conversation]
I'm not schizophrenic, I promise, but I like to talk things out, and when I'm alone, I have to do it with myself.
In the midst of a very emotionally bipolar weekend, that scripture told me what I needed to hear this morning. Between becoming engaged, my future sister-in-law having a baby, and falling so much more in love with Alyssa and realizing we may barely scrape by, having more problems with those two loved ones (one more than the other, but still...), and just wondering if I'm good enough to make this all work out, I found solace in the hope that:
"They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
That's a better quote than the first one anyway
"Good things come to those who wait"
Really?
Well yeah, you decided to wait for Alyssa and be patient with her and now you're engaged!
Ok, but that was a lot more than just sitting and waiting.
Well you just kept doing all the same things except for pressuring her into a decision.
Exactly. I wasn't just waiting, I was doing all that I could to help her come to the decision herself, all the while reigning in my desire to move faster in favor of her needs and wants.
True... but you still just ended up waiting.
Not at all. This was a very active process that required enormous amounts of faith and patience on my part. I'm not sure I believe that quote to be true. Waiting doesn't really get us anywhere. Doing does. Believing does. Trusting does. Waiting is passive. The others are active. We aren't meant to be passive, to be acted upon, we are active beings who influence circumstance instead of being influenced by them.
Well that's true, I guess. Waiting is more just the passage of time than anything. [I enter an office with Isaiah 40:31 hung up on the wall].
See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. Waiting on the Lord isn't just letting time go by and then all of a sudden you renew your strength and mount up with wings as eagles. The waiting that it says here is more than just the passage of time. It is believing that God has a plan for each of us, trusting that whatever happens is a part of that plan, and doing all that we can to live in accordance with His will. That's the kind of "waiting" that will bring good things to people.
Ok, that makes more sense. So what about [names of two loved ones] who are struggling right now? What can you do?
I wish I knew. I want to help so badly, but my range of influence on either of them is pretty limited.
Well maybe you could apply this whole waiting lesson. Maybe there isn't much you can do, but you can always take care of yourself and love them both as much as possible. After that, you just believe that things will work out and trust in God's plan.
That's not a bad idea. It changed Alyssa's heart, maybe it'll change theirs.
There you go. You just make sure you're doing what you can for Alyssa and for them, and the Lord will do the rest. Remember that quote that Pres. Monson gave? "Do your duty, that is best, leave unto the Lord the rest."
Right. That's how I've gotten where I am now, and I can't say I'm disappointed with that. Perhaps a little more waiting will begin to have an effect. I'll trust in the Lord and His plan for them either way, though. If He wills it, they'll get better. If not, then there's something important to be learned from the experience.
That's the spirit! Now get back to work, you're already behind schedule. [end of conversation]
I'm not schizophrenic, I promise, but I like to talk things out, and when I'm alone, I have to do it with myself.
In the midst of a very emotionally bipolar weekend, that scripture told me what I needed to hear this morning. Between becoming engaged, my future sister-in-law having a baby, and falling so much more in love with Alyssa and realizing we may barely scrape by, having more problems with those two loved ones (one more than the other, but still...), and just wondering if I'm good enough to make this all work out, I found solace in the hope that:
"They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
That's a better quote than the first one anyway
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Gratitude
Reviewing Alyssa's blog and realizing that she is a way better person than I am has made me come to the conclusion that I must make a list of all the things I can think of that I'm grateful for right now. It's something I've always struggled with: being grateful. I improved a lot during my mission, but now being home and having all of my comforts and being back in the normal routine has kind of swallowed up the concerted effort I made to be grateful on my mission.
That must change.
Without further ado, I present my current grateful list:
Alyssa, her example, Christ, The Atonement, grace, God's unfailing love, His plan, revelation, a capable mind, a functional body, feelings, organization, technology, having grown up in a family where the gospel was taught, having my basic needs met always, people who love me enough to correct me, the scriptures, prayer, other prime examples of disciples in my life, my ability to imitate, spiritual gifts, work, people's interest in my overall well-being, family, friends, temples, the priesthood, music, the Spirit, service, and hope.
That's everything that I've been particularly grateful for lately. The list will be much longer when I've thought more and had more experiences to help me be more grateful for more things. I could spend a whole day in my mission praying for things I was grateful for. I want to be able to do that again.
Writing this post, it made me think why it even bothered me that I don't feel as grateful as I used to. I'm certain that gratitude is a godly trait. I'm certain that Heavenly Father is sincerely grateful for our efforts to be grateful. I'll keep working on it so that I can please Him and become a little tiny bit more like Him. Maybe before too long it'll be almost effortless and natural to be grateful. I think that's my goal: to naturally be more grateful and also to express it when I feel it. I lack a lot in a lot of areas, but I think that's a great place to start. Don't you?
That must change.
Without further ado, I present my current grateful list:
Alyssa, her example, Christ, The Atonement, grace, God's unfailing love, His plan, revelation, a capable mind, a functional body, feelings, organization, technology, having grown up in a family where the gospel was taught, having my basic needs met always, people who love me enough to correct me, the scriptures, prayer, other prime examples of disciples in my life, my ability to imitate, spiritual gifts, work, people's interest in my overall well-being, family, friends, temples, the priesthood, music, the Spirit, service, and hope.
That's everything that I've been particularly grateful for lately. The list will be much longer when I've thought more and had more experiences to help me be more grateful for more things. I could spend a whole day in my mission praying for things I was grateful for. I want to be able to do that again.
Writing this post, it made me think why it even bothered me that I don't feel as grateful as I used to. I'm certain that gratitude is a godly trait. I'm certain that Heavenly Father is sincerely grateful for our efforts to be grateful. I'll keep working on it so that I can please Him and become a little tiny bit more like Him. Maybe before too long it'll be almost effortless and natural to be grateful. I think that's my goal: to naturally be more grateful and also to express it when I feel it. I lack a lot in a lot of areas, but I think that's a great place to start. Don't you?
Saturday, August 10, 2013
We Survived It
So all of last week, Lys went on a family trip to San Francisco. Naturally, that originally looked like it was going to suck and I wouldn't see her for a week. It actually worked out pretty well, though, and now she's back and we're happier than ever.
It was interesting to see the way my attitude changed over the course of the week. At first, it was just going to suck and I'd be bored and sad and have nothing to do. By the end of the week, I was ok with her being gone. I missed her like I never have before, but it was a very peaceful kind of missing. There was really nothing negative about it. I guess just calling it a longing would be more correct.
What I learned from this is that although I'm certain that Alyssa completes me and makes me so much better than I ever will be without her, I can stand on my own. I've developed enough as a person to live my own life. There's something strange about how that kind of independence has made our relationship stronger. It would seem to me that knowing that I can be independent would mean I would be less dependent and less interested in being with her all the time. However, knowing that I'm my own person and she is also makes me just want to have that chemistry with both of our personalities. I guess that's all that I'm getting at: we have great chemistry.
Thanks to that realization, I've uncovered yet more new levels of love for her. That's probably one of my favorite parts of this relationship. I always get to a point where I just wonder how I could ever love her more, then we figure it out and I do. It's great!
That along with a few personal goals/resolutions have combined to make this last week with her gone a pretty good one.
But having her back is even better.
Before I left, I always used to tell her, "It'll all be worth it." Even though we aren't married or even engaged yet, I can definitely say that it was all worth it. She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and having left her for so long then coming back to her was maybe the best thing that's happened to us so far.
In summary:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Skype was a lifesaver.
It was interesting to see the way my attitude changed over the course of the week. At first, it was just going to suck and I'd be bored and sad and have nothing to do. By the end of the week, I was ok with her being gone. I missed her like I never have before, but it was a very peaceful kind of missing. There was really nothing negative about it. I guess just calling it a longing would be more correct.
What I learned from this is that although I'm certain that Alyssa completes me and makes me so much better than I ever will be without her, I can stand on my own. I've developed enough as a person to live my own life. There's something strange about how that kind of independence has made our relationship stronger. It would seem to me that knowing that I can be independent would mean I would be less dependent and less interested in being with her all the time. However, knowing that I'm my own person and she is also makes me just want to have that chemistry with both of our personalities. I guess that's all that I'm getting at: we have great chemistry.
Thanks to that realization, I've uncovered yet more new levels of love for her. That's probably one of my favorite parts of this relationship. I always get to a point where I just wonder how I could ever love her more, then we figure it out and I do. It's great!
That along with a few personal goals/resolutions have combined to make this last week with her gone a pretty good one.
But having her back is even better.
Before I left, I always used to tell her, "It'll all be worth it." Even though we aren't married or even engaged yet, I can definitely say that it was all worth it. She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and having left her for so long then coming back to her was maybe the best thing that's happened to us so far.
In summary:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Thursday, August 1, 2013
A Little Overdue
On Wednesday I got a long overdue birthday present from Alyssa. It's so long overdue, in fact, that she already gave me my birthday present from this year. It's all good, though. While I was in Mexico, she promised me the Dream Theater album that had just come out, so it's not a big deal that she didn't buy it right then. Really, I think it worked out better this way, though. She just left for a week-long vacation, so I guess it's nice to have something fresh from her right at this moment.
First off, the album is "A Dramatic Turn of Events", by Dream Theater, and it is awesome. Favorite tracks include (but are not limited to) "Lost Not Forgotten" and "Beneath the Surface". Also, new Dream Theater album is coming September 24. I'm stoked.
Second, I have no idea what I'll be doing this week. I'm sure I can find normal things to keep me busy, but that just sounds so boring... I've had several ideas of things to do and projects to work on, but sometimes I let apathy get the best of me. Maybe now that I have a full week of free time after 6, I can start some of those. We shall see.
Thirdly, I can tell I'm going to miss Alyssa a lot. Call me a baby, but it's true. I know she'll only be gone a week (compared to two years, it should be cake), but letting her leave me again without the assurance that she'll be mine when she's back is almost too hard for me. That probably seems really illogical and kind of stupid, but that's the way I think. I've come to understand the role that commitment plays in life, especially in the process of making changes. For me, it's hard to see how she, without having made the commitment to be with me, could actually follow through with it. I saw time and time again as investigators tried to make changes, but never commited to do the action. They even really wanted to change, but without the commitment, they couldn't. I guess all that I'm getting at is that I'm pretty hard-hearted when it comes to these types of situations. I'm just hoping beyond hope that Alyssa has made that commitment with herself even if she hasn't made it with me yet.
Lastly, and ironically, thinking about the timing of this present made me think of timely gifts in a different sense. Thinking how it was actually better that she gave it to me on Wednesday than right when I got back or something helped me to understand that a good gift in the inopportune moment loses a great deal of value. A large part of why I enjoy getting blessings so much is because of the timing in which they come. Knowing that it came when it did because it was orchestrated by a loving Father is so much more precious than just getting everything at once. I just keep getting all of these reminders to be patient, and I'm really trying, but it definitely isn't easy. Maybe I'll learn my lesson before too long, and hopefully before Alyssa gives me an answer so I can actually put it in practice with her. That would be a precious experience.
Just by way of recapitulation, for the present, we're just dating and trying to have fun and strengthen our relationship. It's been great, and I've loved it so much, but it's still not everything I feel like I need. My love for her grows every day, and I know it will keep doing so, but this isn't my goal. Going to my two best friends' wedding on Saturday certainly didn't help with this situation, either, even though it was a great wedding and I love those two. Anyway, that's where we're at. Hopefully a week apart will have an impact on Lys, and I'll survive without her for this week.
In this case, RM doesn't stand for Riviera Maya, it stands for Returned Missionary, despite what the shirt may lead you to believe. Who knows why 1969 though...
First off, the album is "A Dramatic Turn of Events", by Dream Theater, and it is awesome. Favorite tracks include (but are not limited to) "Lost Not Forgotten" and "Beneath the Surface". Also, new Dream Theater album is coming September 24. I'm stoked.
Second, I have no idea what I'll be doing this week. I'm sure I can find normal things to keep me busy, but that just sounds so boring... I've had several ideas of things to do and projects to work on, but sometimes I let apathy get the best of me. Maybe now that I have a full week of free time after 6, I can start some of those. We shall see.
Thirdly, I can tell I'm going to miss Alyssa a lot. Call me a baby, but it's true. I know she'll only be gone a week (compared to two years, it should be cake), but letting her leave me again without the assurance that she'll be mine when she's back is almost too hard for me. That probably seems really illogical and kind of stupid, but that's the way I think. I've come to understand the role that commitment plays in life, especially in the process of making changes. For me, it's hard to see how she, without having made the commitment to be with me, could actually follow through with it. I saw time and time again as investigators tried to make changes, but never commited to do the action. They even really wanted to change, but without the commitment, they couldn't. I guess all that I'm getting at is that I'm pretty hard-hearted when it comes to these types of situations. I'm just hoping beyond hope that Alyssa has made that commitment with herself even if she hasn't made it with me yet.
Lastly, and ironically, thinking about the timing of this present made me think of timely gifts in a different sense. Thinking how it was actually better that she gave it to me on Wednesday than right when I got back or something helped me to understand that a good gift in the inopportune moment loses a great deal of value. A large part of why I enjoy getting blessings so much is because of the timing in which they come. Knowing that it came when it did because it was orchestrated by a loving Father is so much more precious than just getting everything at once. I just keep getting all of these reminders to be patient, and I'm really trying, but it definitely isn't easy. Maybe I'll learn my lesson before too long, and hopefully before Alyssa gives me an answer so I can actually put it in practice with her. That would be a precious experience.
Just by way of recapitulation, for the present, we're just dating and trying to have fun and strengthen our relationship. It's been great, and I've loved it so much, but it's still not everything I feel like I need. My love for her grows every day, and I know it will keep doing so, but this isn't my goal. Going to my two best friends' wedding on Saturday certainly didn't help with this situation, either, even though it was a great wedding and I love those two. Anyway, that's where we're at. Hopefully a week apart will have an impact on Lys, and I'll survive without her for this week.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Good Old Bert's
So I work at this music store that we're going to call Bert's. Bert's is usually really slow during the summer. It's July right now. Thus we can infer that Bert's is really slow right now. That's why I'm blogging while I'm at work. It's so slow that I really have nothing better to do. It's so slow that I can't make compound sentences. End of story.
The good news is that working here again basically guarantees me a steady full-time job that pays better than before my mission when I worked here. That's definitely a must when you're looking to be engaged and married in the near future (not that I know how near that future is yet, but I'm really hoping it's soon). I guess it's all good, because it means I'm getting paid to mostly just sit around for 7-8 hours a day and do sales (which I love) for the time that I'm not sitting. I think the only things that would make this better would be:
1) Making much more money (but let's be honest, that's not going to happen)
2) Being able to get away with playing guitar more while I'm here.
I have this at my disposal:
The good news is that working here again basically guarantees me a steady full-time job that pays better than before my mission when I worked here. That's definitely a must when you're looking to be engaged and married in the near future (not that I know how near that future is yet, but I'm really hoping it's soon). I guess it's all good, because it means I'm getting paid to mostly just sit around for 7-8 hours a day and do sales (which I love) for the time that I'm not sitting. I think the only things that would make this better would be:
1) Making much more money (but let's be honest, that's not going to happen)
2) Being able to get away with playing guitar more while I'm here.
I have this at my disposal:
And I can't even take advantage of it. That's looking at just one wall of the store. Granted, the other walls aren't covered in guitars, but we have plenty more. That's all I'm trying to say.
Anyway, I just thought I'd give you all that wonderful insight into my days, except Tuesdays, from 10-6, just chillin' at Bert's.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Sacrifices
I relearned an important lesson this week from Alyssa. It certainly wasn't easy, and I'm just hoping it'll be worth it, but it all remains to be seen.
Basically Alyssa wants to take things slower than I do. She wants time to make sure she's absolutely sure of what we're going to do before she'll commit. I don't necessarily agree with that kind of thinking, but that doesn't change the fact that she does think like that. On Friday, we had a long, serious talk about it. I came to the conclusion that if I want things to work out, I'll have to do it at her pace and give up all of my desires and the feelings I've had to be married sooner. I did it in return for her openness and nothing more.
I remembered my mission and the lessons I learned in that time. I remembered that charity is a powerful force for good, and that it requires us to put others above ourselves and consider their needs and desires before our own. I remembered the promises I've made with the Lord to sacrifice all that I have for Him and His kingdom. I realized that if I really love Alyssa as much as I think I do, I should do the same things for her.
I took the decision to drop my own wants and needs in order to satisfy hers. I'm going to be patient with her and let her figure this out in her own time. In the meantime, I'll be doing all that I can to remind her how much I really do love her. I'm doing it all on the conviction I have that God grants according to our righteous desires when we act in faith. I have no guarantee that she'll get an answer, that the answer will be me, or that she'll want to be married as soon as I'd like.
That's really what faith is, though. It's stepping out into the dark, knowing that God will put solid ground under our feet even though we can't even fathom it being there. When we do it enough, we begin to see, and light fills our life. Eventually, we see enough to understand that there may or may not have even been solid ground when we took that first step, but God put it there because we acted with complete trust in Him. He won't let us fall if we exercise faith in Him.
So here I am, stepping out into the dark, waiting for the girl I love to come around to the idea of marrying me, not knowing if she ever will, but willing to wait until she does. No sacrifice is too great for me if it means having her forever.
Also, many thanks to our other friend Alyssa who helped me feel better about the decision before the confirmation of it came.
Basically Alyssa wants to take things slower than I do. She wants time to make sure she's absolutely sure of what we're going to do before she'll commit. I don't necessarily agree with that kind of thinking, but that doesn't change the fact that she does think like that. On Friday, we had a long, serious talk about it. I came to the conclusion that if I want things to work out, I'll have to do it at her pace and give up all of my desires and the feelings I've had to be married sooner. I did it in return for her openness and nothing more.
I remembered my mission and the lessons I learned in that time. I remembered that charity is a powerful force for good, and that it requires us to put others above ourselves and consider their needs and desires before our own. I remembered the promises I've made with the Lord to sacrifice all that I have for Him and His kingdom. I realized that if I really love Alyssa as much as I think I do, I should do the same things for her.
I took the decision to drop my own wants and needs in order to satisfy hers. I'm going to be patient with her and let her figure this out in her own time. In the meantime, I'll be doing all that I can to remind her how much I really do love her. I'm doing it all on the conviction I have that God grants according to our righteous desires when we act in faith. I have no guarantee that she'll get an answer, that the answer will be me, or that she'll want to be married as soon as I'd like.
That's really what faith is, though. It's stepping out into the dark, knowing that God will put solid ground under our feet even though we can't even fathom it being there. When we do it enough, we begin to see, and light fills our life. Eventually, we see enough to understand that there may or may not have even been solid ground when we took that first step, but God put it there because we acted with complete trust in Him. He won't let us fall if we exercise faith in Him.
So here I am, stepping out into the dark, waiting for the girl I love to come around to the idea of marrying me, not knowing if she ever will, but willing to wait until she does. No sacrifice is too great for me if it means having her forever.
Thankfully, we had just been to a great MoTab concert before that Friday night conversation. Absolutely an inspired decision.
Also, many thanks to our other friend Alyssa who helped me feel better about the decision before the confirmation of it came.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
"Stressful Situations"
Well yesterday was an excellent day for the both of us. We just keep getting closer and closer, and that definitely bodes well for the future I hope we can have.
When I first got back and we were looking at what we wanted to do together, we thought it would be good to be in some "stressful situations" to see how the other responds and get to know each other in that sense as well. We've been trying to come up with stuff like that, but so far to no avail. Yesterday gave us a great, unexpected opportunity to experience that.
We hiked up that back of Timpanogos yesterday, so driving up there, Alyssa's car was struggling big time. When we pulled into the lot, her car starts smoking and what not, so we open the hood to find a ripped hose and antifreeze everywhere. We let her dad know and went hiking.
On this hike, there's a nice little waterfall, and we hiked to one of the ledges of the waterfall. I jumped down a rock, and the pocket with her car keys ripped and the keys fell into this miniature raging torrent and were probably almost carried down a thirty foot drop and lost forever. Thankfully, they got caught on a rock and I went in to get them. Getting down to the rock they were caught on, I slipped and got both feet soaking wet. Thankfully, we got the keys.
Adventure #2 was that it started raining right about then, so we started heading down the mountain. We got caught in a pretty good downpour and got soaked.
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Adventure #3 was waiting for her dad to come and finally having to worry about fixing the car. Thankfully, her dad's a car wizard, so he got things all fixed up and we made it home safe.
It's funny how the things you most look for sometimes come when you just aren't looking for them. That's maybe been a hallmark in mine and Alyssa's relationship, and I'm very grateful for that. She came at a time when I least wanted a real relationship, but it's turned out to be one of the things that makes me happiest in my life. I'm sure glad God knows what we need and when we need it. I'm also glad that I've learned to accept that fact and just be happy when good things come, even unexpectedly.
Today I'll be expecting a definitive answer from Alyssa in regards to our future and what we're going to do. I'll keep you posted.
.JPG)
When I first got back and we were looking at what we wanted to do together, we thought it would be good to be in some "stressful situations" to see how the other responds and get to know each other in that sense as well. We've been trying to come up with stuff like that, but so far to no avail. Yesterday gave us a great, unexpected opportunity to experience that.
We hiked up that back of Timpanogos yesterday, so driving up there, Alyssa's car was struggling big time. When we pulled into the lot, her car starts smoking and what not, so we open the hood to find a ripped hose and antifreeze everywhere. We let her dad know and went hiking.
On this hike, there's a nice little waterfall, and we hiked to one of the ledges of the waterfall. I jumped down a rock, and the pocket with her car keys ripped and the keys fell into this miniature raging torrent and were probably almost carried down a thirty foot drop and lost forever. Thankfully, they got caught on a rock and I went in to get them. Getting down to the rock they were caught on, I slipped and got both feet soaking wet. Thankfully, we got the keys.
This is where we almost lost the keys
Adventure #2 was that it started raining right about then, so we started heading down the mountain. We got caught in a pretty good downpour and got soaked.
We got wet
Adventure #3 was waiting for her dad to come and finally having to worry about fixing the car. Thankfully, her dad's a car wizard, so he got things all fixed up and we made it home safe.
It's funny how the things you most look for sometimes come when you just aren't looking for them. That's maybe been a hallmark in mine and Alyssa's relationship, and I'm very grateful for that. She came at a time when I least wanted a real relationship, but it's turned out to be one of the things that makes me happiest in my life. I'm sure glad God knows what we need and when we need it. I'm also glad that I've learned to accept that fact and just be happy when good things come, even unexpectedly.
Today I'll be expecting a definitive answer from Alyssa in regards to our future and what we're going to do. I'll keep you posted.
I sure love that girl
Monday, July 15, 2013
Episode 1: Part 2
If you've forgotten where we left off in the story, just go back and read it. A recap is basically pointless on a blog.
So after the initial contact was established, we started talking more and establishing an actual friendship. After having stunned me with her beauty, she sealed the deal with her wit, humor, and general goodness. I could tell I was way out of my league trying to start a relationship with her, but that feeling lingered quite poignantly and I had to do something about it. In the ensuing months, we continued along those lines and started eating lunch together at school.
Later, we ended up doing another musical together, and I started making it clear where I was hoping we could go. We started talking more, I got her phone number, and started picking her up for rehearsals and performances. We could both tell there was something developing, but we were both a little too timid to just come out and say it. Some of my fondest memories with Alyssa were during this time when I wanted her so bad, but still couldn't have her, so I just had to make due with what we had.
Towards the end of that production, she asked me to a school dance, which I gladly accepted, though I had been waiting to ask her to prom as our first date. We went to the dance and had a great time together. As per tradition among my friends, we all came to my house after so I could play them some music and we could all sing along (I don't know how that tradition started, but whatever). As everyone filed out, I prepared to say goodbye to Alyssa. When we were the last ones in my house, we hugged goodnight, and oh what a hug it was. I recall it was literally painful to have to separate from that, not knowing if the future would have any more of those.
.JPG)
Around this time, we started to catch on to the other's feelings and began hinting at a relationship. One of our friends (also named Alyssa) was an excellent mediator and helped me realize that I was being a pansy and that I should just tell Alyssa I wanted to be with her because she wanted to be with me, too. It was still too good to be true for me (and really still is) that she would want anything to do with me. Eventually, I got up the courage to go talk to her about it, and this wonderful relationship was born.
There's much more to the story than that, but those are the very basics (and boy was I long-winded in telling just the basics!). Maybe more will come out in future posts, but we'll see.
Here's an update: Things are now starting to really move along. After that last talk we had and Alyssa getting some sound advice from her mom, we're starting to make legitimate, quick progress. I won't give out any specific details yet, but there are good things to come in the near future, all of which I will let you all know.
So after the initial contact was established, we started talking more and establishing an actual friendship. After having stunned me with her beauty, she sealed the deal with her wit, humor, and general goodness. I could tell I was way out of my league trying to start a relationship with her, but that feeling lingered quite poignantly and I had to do something about it. In the ensuing months, we continued along those lines and started eating lunch together at school.
Later, we ended up doing another musical together, and I started making it clear where I was hoping we could go. We started talking more, I got her phone number, and started picking her up for rehearsals and performances. We could both tell there was something developing, but we were both a little too timid to just come out and say it. Some of my fondest memories with Alyssa were during this time when I wanted her so bad, but still couldn't have her, so I just had to make due with what we had.
Towards the end of that production, she asked me to a school dance, which I gladly accepted, though I had been waiting to ask her to prom as our first date. We went to the dance and had a great time together. As per tradition among my friends, we all came to my house after so I could play them some music and we could all sing along (I don't know how that tradition started, but whatever). As everyone filed out, I prepared to say goodbye to Alyssa. When we were the last ones in my house, we hugged goodnight, and oh what a hug it was. I recall it was literally painful to have to separate from that, not knowing if the future would have any more of those.
.JPG)
(sorry about the terrible quality... that's a picture from my phone of a picture of that first date)
Around this time, we started to catch on to the other's feelings and began hinting at a relationship. One of our friends (also named Alyssa) was an excellent mediator and helped me realize that I was being a pansy and that I should just tell Alyssa I wanted to be with her because she wanted to be with me, too. It was still too good to be true for me (and really still is) that she would want anything to do with me. Eventually, I got up the courage to go talk to her about it, and this wonderful relationship was born.
There's much more to the story than that, but those are the very basics (and boy was I long-winded in telling just the basics!). Maybe more will come out in future posts, but we'll see.
Here's an update: Things are now starting to really move along. After that last talk we had and Alyssa getting some sound advice from her mom, we're starting to make legitimate, quick progress. I won't give out any specific details yet, but there are good things to come in the near future, all of which I will let you all know.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Every saga has a beginning...
It's looking like the majority of these first posts are going to be just introductory. Upon creating this, it was really just for me, but if people are going to be seeing it, they may as well get the whole story. Plus I love telling it.
Today I shall tell you how Alyssa and I came to be. Pop some corn and fasten your seat belts.
First, it would be helpful to know that my older sister and Alyssa's older sister were best friends in high school. Unbeknownst to us, that would come very much in handy.
Alyssa and I attended the same high school. I'm a year older than she, and all of this went down in my senior year (her junior year). If you know me, you know that I'm a musician through and through. It's basically an essential part of me in a very deep sense. Being my senior year, I wanted to take advantage of all of the opportunities I could to play music in every situation that I could. I volunteered to accompany people, got in every music class I could (like 6 of my 8 classes were ensembles or independent study or free periods where I could practice... for reals), joined several bands, and took every other chance I got to play music. Most significant of these was a certain musical produced by the high school.
I had no idea what the musical was about or what the music was like, but I signed up right away to play guitar in it. Little did I know that decision would change my life forever. I remember very clearly the first day of rehearsals. I was already all set up in the band room (I basically spent my life in there anyway) warming up. This musical (Aida) required two pianists, but there was only one piano in the band room. As the director was asking for help to bring in the second piano, she directed my attention to a certain stunningly gorgeous girl with short blonde hair, dazzling blue eyes, and heeled boots... to boot (good one, right?). Needless to say, I was floored.
At that very moment, I had the strongest feeling that I needed to meet that girl, go out with her, and eventually marry her. This was totally unexpected, especially with the state I was in at the time. I'd just been through a rough breakup and was not looking for any significant other besides more guitars. My theme song at the time was "I Don't Believe in Love" by Queensryche (great song, by the way). Fortunately, that feeling that came was almost literally overpowering and I let my resistance dissipate. I didn't know why I felt that or where it came from, but I knew that it felt right and that I needed to follow it.
Quickly, I volunteered to help move a piano (I wouldn't have normally done that...), and started trying to figure out how to strike up a conversation with this girl. Unfortunately for me, I was a social outcast in high school. I couldn't talk to someone new or make a new friend to save my life, so that plan failed epically. That cycle continued for the next few rehearsals, and we eventually began practicing in the auditorium, which worked out great. In the band room, she sat on the other side of the room from me; in the auditorium, she sat right behind me. One day, after mustering a whole lot of courage, I decided to talk to her. I used the only real piece of information I had about her: the connection between our sisters. She had also realized it, but wasn't sure, so didn't say anything. Thus was the beginning of what would become one of the most special relationships in my life.
I'd like to just finish there and say "the rest is history", but that would be a huge lie. Unfortunately, I'm a little detailed in my storytelling, so this will be the end of part 1 of episode 1. Stay tuned for more action, adventure, romance, and laughs as the saga continues!
Today I shall tell you how Alyssa and I came to be. Pop some corn and fasten your seat belts.
First, it would be helpful to know that my older sister and Alyssa's older sister were best friends in high school. Unbeknownst to us, that would come very much in handy.
Alyssa and I attended the same high school. I'm a year older than she, and all of this went down in my senior year (her junior year). If you know me, you know that I'm a musician through and through. It's basically an essential part of me in a very deep sense. Being my senior year, I wanted to take advantage of all of the opportunities I could to play music in every situation that I could. I volunteered to accompany people, got in every music class I could (like 6 of my 8 classes were ensembles or independent study or free periods where I could practice... for reals), joined several bands, and took every other chance I got to play music. Most significant of these was a certain musical produced by the high school.
I had no idea what the musical was about or what the music was like, but I signed up right away to play guitar in it. Little did I know that decision would change my life forever. I remember very clearly the first day of rehearsals. I was already all set up in the band room (I basically spent my life in there anyway) warming up. This musical (Aida) required two pianists, but there was only one piano in the band room. As the director was asking for help to bring in the second piano, she directed my attention to a certain stunningly gorgeous girl with short blonde hair, dazzling blue eyes, and heeled boots... to boot (good one, right?). Needless to say, I was floored.
At that very moment, I had the strongest feeling that I needed to meet that girl, go out with her, and eventually marry her. This was totally unexpected, especially with the state I was in at the time. I'd just been through a rough breakup and was not looking for any significant other besides more guitars. My theme song at the time was "I Don't Believe in Love" by Queensryche (great song, by the way). Fortunately, that feeling that came was almost literally overpowering and I let my resistance dissipate. I didn't know why I felt that or where it came from, but I knew that it felt right and that I needed to follow it.
Quickly, I volunteered to help move a piano (I wouldn't have normally done that...), and started trying to figure out how to strike up a conversation with this girl. Unfortunately for me, I was a social outcast in high school. I couldn't talk to someone new or make a new friend to save my life, so that plan failed epically. That cycle continued for the next few rehearsals, and we eventually began practicing in the auditorium, which worked out great. In the band room, she sat on the other side of the room from me; in the auditorium, she sat right behind me. One day, after mustering a whole lot of courage, I decided to talk to her. I used the only real piece of information I had about her: the connection between our sisters. She had also realized it, but wasn't sure, so didn't say anything. Thus was the beginning of what would become one of the most special relationships in my life.
I'd like to just finish there and say "the rest is history", but that would be a huge lie. Unfortunately, I'm a little detailed in my storytelling, so this will be the end of part 1 of episode 1. Stay tuned for more action, adventure, romance, and laughs as the saga continues!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Overture
I figured that if I'm going to have a blog about Alyssa and I, you may as well know a little bit about us. So joining me today is a special guest star blogger: the one and only Alyssa! I will be introducing her, and she will be introducing me. Enjoy.
Alyssa:
If I were to describe Alyssa in a word, I probably couldn't. I can say this independent of the fact that I'm madly in love with her: she is just an all-around amazing girl. She's incredibly smart, beautiful, witty, and spiritual. She's especially good at keeping me where I need to be. Her head fits right in my shoulder when we're both standing and sitting. She has beautiful blue eyes that are much more impressive than mine and excellent, long, blonde hair (that she grew out at my request... score!). She's sensible, practical, and has a great new fashion sense.
I could probably go on and on for maybe forever, but that gives you a general idea. There's also a good chance that more will come out as I keep writing about she and I, but that's a good enough start. Now let's hope she doesn't tear into me too much and reveal all of my embarrassing defects...
Joseph:
Here's the thing. Joe is the most loving person ever. I know people brag on their significant others all the time, but there's a good chance I could trump any one of you. But wait, there's more! He's also very spiritual, creative, hard-working, musical, and he's got a fine sense of humor. He willingly gives beyond the point where everyone else would say they can give no more. He has a talent for calming people down, but most especially me. He's the perfect size. Actually, he is--for me--practically perfect in every way. I love this boy.
Oh. He also loves John Petrucci, like A LOTTTTTT.
Alyssa:
If I were to describe Alyssa in a word, I probably couldn't. I can say this independent of the fact that I'm madly in love with her: she is just an all-around amazing girl. She's incredibly smart, beautiful, witty, and spiritual. She's especially good at keeping me where I need to be. Her head fits right in my shoulder when we're both standing and sitting. She has beautiful blue eyes that are much more impressive than mine and excellent, long, blonde hair (that she grew out at my request... score!). She's sensible, practical, and has a great new fashion sense.
I could probably go on and on for maybe forever, but that gives you a general idea. There's also a good chance that more will come out as I keep writing about she and I, but that's a good enough start. Now let's hope she doesn't tear into me too much and reveal all of my embarrassing defects...
Joseph:
Here's the thing. Joe is the most loving person ever. I know people brag on their significant others all the time, but there's a good chance I could trump any one of you. But wait, there's more! He's also very spiritual, creative, hard-working, musical, and he's got a fine sense of humor. He willingly gives beyond the point where everyone else would say they can give no more. He has a talent for calming people down, but most especially me. He's the perfect size. Actually, he is--for me--practically perfect in every way. I love this boy.
Oh. He also loves John Petrucci, like A LOTTTTTT.
Now you can put some faces with those names, but you have to guess which is which.
Latest updates: There have been no signs of any decrease or stagnancy in what I feel for Alyssa, which is great. Quite the contrary, I can tell that my feelings are growing stronger, deeper, and more mature every day. I feel good about where we're going, but she still wants time to be sure. Basically that sucks for me, but I'm working hard on patience and understanding. The good news is that I gained some much needed perspective after talking to her last night, so I think I can manage for now.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Let's set the record straight
Those of you who know me will wonder "what the heck is Joe doing blogging?" Well let me tell you:
Those of you who know me happen to know that I just got back from living in Mexico as a missionary for 2 years. My girlfriend waited for me that whole time and now we're looking at a future together. You also know that I'm a fairly introverted and thoughtful person. That's a really bad combination.
I'm not blogging to have people read about my life or to get attention. I'm not blogging because I love doing cutesy things. I just need a dang outlet! Having kept everything inside for the last 21 years of my life, I've come to realize that it's not the best way to do things.
And thus, a blog was born.
There's a good chance this won't be very creative or fun. Followers: be ye warned. There's a good chance only pirates would ever say that. Anyway, here's to the start of a new expressive outlet for me and maybe a few fun adventures along the way.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? That's what the "comment" section is for.
There are no guarantees as to how frequent I'll be, but if you're really super interested in knowing all about what I think about and do, you'll find out eventually, and I'll make an effort to be at least a little bit consistent. The good news for you all is that until I find a second job, I'm free almost all day, every day. All it'll take to have constant updates is my wanting to. The bad news is that all of my free time is spent looking for a second job. Kind of a buzzkill, I know. You can deal with it.
Those of you who know me happen to know that I just got back from living in Mexico as a missionary for 2 years. My girlfriend waited for me that whole time and now we're looking at a future together. You also know that I'm a fairly introverted and thoughtful person. That's a really bad combination.
I'm not blogging to have people read about my life or to get attention. I'm not blogging because I love doing cutesy things. I just need a dang outlet! Having kept everything inside for the last 21 years of my life, I've come to realize that it's not the best way to do things.
And thus, a blog was born.
There's a good chance this won't be very creative or fun. Followers: be ye warned. There's a good chance only pirates would ever say that. Anyway, here's to the start of a new expressive outlet for me and maybe a few fun adventures along the way.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? That's what the "comment" section is for.
There are no guarantees as to how frequent I'll be, but if you're really super interested in knowing all about what I think about and do, you'll find out eventually, and I'll make an effort to be at least a little bit consistent. The good news for you all is that until I find a second job, I'm free almost all day, every day. All it'll take to have constant updates is my wanting to. The bad news is that all of my free time is spent looking for a second job. Kind of a buzzkill, I know. You can deal with it.
Please enjoy this half-rancid mamey. Also, it had two seeds instead of just one. That was cool
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