A Little Overdue

On Wednesday I got a long overdue birthday present from Alyssa.  It's so long overdue, in fact, that she already gave me my birthday present from this year.  It's all good, though.  While I was in Mexico, she promised me the Dream Theater album that had just come out, so it's not a big deal that she didn't buy it right then.  Really, I think it worked out better this way, though.  She just left for a week-long vacation, so I guess it's nice to have something fresh from her right at this moment.

 In this case, RM doesn't stand for Riviera Maya, it stands for Returned Missionary, despite what the shirt may lead you to believe.  Who knows why 1969 though...

First off, the album is "A Dramatic Turn of Events", by Dream Theater, and it is awesome.  Favorite tracks include (but are not limited to) "Lost Not Forgotten" and "Beneath the Surface".  Also, new Dream Theater album is coming September 24.  I'm stoked.

Second, I have no idea what I'll be doing this week.  I'm sure I can find normal things to keep me busy, but that just sounds so boring... I've had several ideas of things to do and projects to work on, but sometimes I let apathy get the best of me.  Maybe now that I have a full week of free time after 6, I can start some of those.  We shall see.

Thirdly, I can tell I'm going to miss Alyssa a lot.  Call me a baby, but it's true.  I know she'll only be gone a week (compared to two years, it should be cake), but letting her leave me again without the assurance that she'll be mine when she's back is almost too hard for me.  That probably seems really illogical and kind of stupid, but that's the way I think.  I've come to understand the role that commitment plays in life, especially in the process of making changes.  For me, it's hard to see how she, without having made the commitment to be with me, could actually follow through with it.  I saw time and time again as investigators tried to make changes, but never commited to do the action.  They even really wanted to change, but without the commitment, they couldn't.  I guess all that I'm getting at is that I'm pretty hard-hearted when it comes to these types of situations.  I'm just hoping beyond hope that Alyssa has made that commitment with herself even if she hasn't made it with me yet.

Lastly, and ironically, thinking about the timing of this present made me think of timely gifts in a different sense.  Thinking how it was actually better that she gave it to me on Wednesday than right when I got back or something helped me to understand that a good gift in the inopportune moment loses a great deal of value.  A large part of why I enjoy getting blessings so much is because of the timing in which they come.  Knowing that it came when it did because it was orchestrated by a loving Father is so much more precious than just getting everything at once.  I just keep getting all of these reminders to be patient, and I'm really trying, but it definitely isn't easy.  Maybe I'll learn my lesson before too long, and hopefully before Alyssa gives me an answer so I can actually put it in practice with her.  That would be a precious experience.

Just by way of recapitulation, for the present, we're just dating and trying to have fun and strengthen our relationship.  It's been great, and I've loved it so much, but it's still not everything I feel like I need.  My love for her grows every day, and I know it will keep doing so, but this isn't my goal.  Going to my two best friends' wedding on Saturday certainly didn't help with this situation, either, even though it was a great wedding and I love those two.  Anyway, that's where we're at.  Hopefully a week apart will have an impact on Lys, and I'll survive without her for this week.